Thanksgiving turkey....cooking trauma for many, many people. The blasted turkey is not cooked in time or it is well cooked and dry as a bone because it was really done at noon and the guests did not get in until four. The whole problem of cooking a meal with any single item which takes a long time to cook, and a given time at which it is to be served, is that the cooking time of the large item is really not known to within 50% so the time to put it in is a crapshoot and things only get worse from there.

                    My first disaster was a huge cross rib roast for a sit down dinner for twelve. I read the cook book and at 30 minutes a pound put this 12 pound roast in the oven at 9am to be done at 3pm.  The blasted thing was done at noon. I had a meat thermometer in it so at least I knew it was cooked but, what in blue blazes do you do now, feeding time is not for three hours. At that time I had not developed a good method so I found every skewer I had and some aluminum rods, skewered it every which way from Sunday and threw it in the sink full of cold water. Once it was cold, I put it back in the oven and none of the guests knew anything had gone wrong. And it was rare.

                    Scientifically, the rate at which heat enters the meat is proportional to the outside area, and the amount of heat needed to complete the cooking is proportional to the volume, so the cooking time does not rise linearly with the weight but according to a two thirds power law. If the weight doubles, the cooking time goes up by 2 to the 2/3 power, the cube root of two squared or the cube root of four or about 1.6 times. So if a 2 pound roast cooks in 1 hour, a 4 pound roast cooks in 1.6 hours, an 8 pound roast cooks in 2.6 hours and a 16 pound roast cooks in 4.1 hours. Notice that 30 minutes a pound times 16 pounds is 8 hours, not 4.1, ouch. As soon as the roast or turkey gets big, this idea of so long a pound gets really inaccurate and causes cooking disaster.

                   The next cooking disaster was the Thanksgiving turkey. I read the label, forgot everything I knew about cooking times and followed the instructions with a 22 pound turkey, so long a pound. Naturally the bird was done way early, 1pm. for a 4pm. meal. I decided to take the turkey out of the oven and keep it warm with insulation, so I put it on its serving platter, covered it with aluminium foil, threw a folded woolen blanket over the lot and hoped for the best. I figured it couldnt really get cold with a thick blanket ovet it and if they didn't like the cooking method...tough.

                    The results were spectacular. "How did you get the turkey this moist?"  "This is the best turkey". The comments were wonderful, especially when all I was doing was covering for a mistake. Now I have figured it out. Any time there is anything which takes a long time to cook, put it in with plenty of time and, when it is do is take it out it, put it on a platter, cover it with foil and insulate it with blankets.

                    The advantages of cooking and insulating are twofold. Firstly, the moisture in the food diffuses towards the outside so nothing tastes dry any more. This is especially important in low fat meats like turkey. Secondly, the timing of the meal is no longer critical. All the quick cooking things can be done just before they are needed, so you can delay the meal until everybody is present. Things that take an hour or so to cook, like baked potatoes can be cooked anfd left in the hot oven, or put in a basket and covered or whatever.

                    Cook it and insulate it. That is the way to have perfectly cooked meals. Do not cook any quick cooking vegetable until you are ready for it. Nail the asparagus just ten minutes before you are going to eat it. Keep the sweet potato goo hot under an insulating blanket. Perfect meals every time and they'll wonder how you did it. End of long boring timing problem.

                    The time you can keep something hot is effectively 100% of the time it took to cook it. If the turkey takes 3 hours to cook you can keep it insulated for 3 hours and everything will be fine. If the potatoes take an hour to cook then an hour of staying hot will be fine. If the asparagus takes 10 minutes, another ten minutes may turn it to mush. Be careful of the quick cooking items, their being right will make your reputation as a chef.

                    This little trick will save almost any meal. Happy cooking.